Redefining Success While Juggling Parenthood and Career Shifts

When life threw a curveball of illness and burnout my way, I found myself questioning everything, from the future of our podcast to my PhD studies. It's a crossroads moment that I'm unpacking in this candid episode, where I share the personal challenges that have tested my resolve and the transformative changes that might be on the horizon for us. Reflecting on the importance of passion, I'm considering shaking things up with unique guest perspectives and even contemplating stepping away from academia to focus more on what fires me up. You'll get a front-row seat to my thought process on how to reignite the spark in our conversations, and I'll even tease some exciting updates coming to our website designed to enhance your listening experience.

Amidst all this introspection, we'll also explore the essence of success and what defines the paths we choose. From tales of missed chances, like my friend's turn away from his video game development dream, to my strategic moves into virtual CISO roles and engaging discussions with tech giants like Amazon, this episode is packed with inspiration. It's a reminder to seize the day, value certifications, and strategically plan for the future. Plus, I touch on life's fulfilling aspects beyond work, like the joys and responsibilities of parenting and community involvement. Join me for an honest, thought-provoking session that will leave you motivated to embrace change and proactively shape your destiny.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

How's it going everyone? So this is another mentorship episode. You know it's been a while. I just want to talk for a little bit. It's been a while since I did one of these.

Speaker 1: 0:19

You know, the reason is, honestly, I've been pretty burnt out. I haven't really wanted to do much. To be completely honest with you, you know I actually just got over being sick, had some flu bug going through my whole house and the past couple months, you know, honestly, I didn't really want to do anything and at times you know I'm just going to be fully transparent right At times I don't know what's going on with this podcast. Right At times it's hard for me to see the vision and it is difficult to, you know, get me motivated right to do it at times. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop the podcast or quit interviewing people or whatnot, but I think I'm at a point where I want to kind of augment the content that I'm providing. I want to change it some way, right, I want to bring on new interesting guests. I just don't want to have on a bunch of people from a bunch of different random companies that are pushing different things. That's not what I want. You know that wasn't the original intent of this podcast and it's really difficult to push those people away Because there's so many of them that are coming in trying to get on the podcast, just have a conversation, which is fine, and it's difficult to say, yeah, I'm going to miss this week's episode because I didn't have anyone on. You know, that was interesting, right, it's a difficult hurdle for me personally to navigate, you know, and it's just.

Speaker 1: 2:33

It's been challenging. You know, there has been many times in the past couple months where I woke up and I just didn't feel like recording that day. You know, many times when I just didn't want to do it. You know it's difficult. You know all the different things that I've been doing. You know I started working on my PhD and I don't even know if I'm going to continue. That you know, because I have found that when my heart isn't in something, it's better to just cut it off. You know it's better to just drop out of it because it's probably not, you know, meant for me in some way, right, and that's the difficult part.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Now, obviously I'm not stopping the podcast or anything like that, but you know I would surely expect the content of the podcast to be changing a bit. You know, I think I'll still do mentorship episodes and whatnot, but you know the interviews that I do, I really want to bring on interesting people. You know I had on Chris Roberts last year, right. Super interesting guy, extremely interesting background. He has worked on some of the most impressive things you know out there in the cybersecurity world, in my opinion.

Speaker 1: 4:08

I had on you know another Chris, right, that is a cyber warfare mercenary. You know, I mean, that is something that is so unique I didn't even know it existed. It makes sense for why it exists and everything like that. But you know, if I wanted to talk to that person, I never would have known that it existed. You know, because everyone always thinks of those people as, like you know, hackers that are trying to do things you know for themselves and whatnot. You never think that maybe a company or maybe an organization reaches out to these people and says, hey, I'll give you a million bucks to get us a foothold and this power grid of a rival nation or enemy nation. You know that's what we were talking about in that episode, and so I want to have more conversations like that. I want to kind of explore the possibility of this field, not just the journey of getting into it. I want to explore the possibilities that reside within it, because I feel like 99% of us 95% of us don't really know what's out there.

Speaker 1: 5:31

We know security is a hot field. We know it's a hot topic. You see it in the news every once in a while. You see these companies having to pay billions of dollars in fines and fees and penalties and all these sorts of things related to different cybersecurity hacks. You hear about the job market shortage or the workforce shortage and cybersecurity. All those things are very real and we'll continue talking about them on the podcast and whatnot but you don't hear about these fringe aspects of cybersecurity. You don't hear about how Boeing is securing its new 737 or 777 aircraft. You don't hear about that. You don't hear about the people that are hacking military bases and doing pen tests on military bases and things like that. You don't hear about that.

Speaker 1: 6:31

I want to bring that to this podcast. I want to bring that to you guys, and so I'm going to try and do it. I'm going to try and make it happen. There's a lot of work that I have to do on my end. I want to revamp the entire website. I think I did that, maybe a year or two ago. Well, I want to revamp it all. I want to offer a new all-in-one place experience for this podcast. So if you like the content of it, it's all right there. It's all in one place.

Speaker 1: 7:15

So with that out of the way, let's go ahead and dive into 2024. It's January, it's right. At the end of January, beginning of February, you should already have your goals in mind. We talk about this a lot, but they should already be written down. They should already be thought through and everything else, everything that you need to be successful this year. It should already be in place. Maybe it is getting a subscription to Code Academy so that you can learn Python or Golang a little bit better than you did before. Maybe it's a Cloud Guru subscription for you to get more certifications and more training with the Cloud. All of these things matter. It sets you up for success later on, because maybe you don't have the time right now to knock it out. You don't have the time in February to knock it out, but in March do you really want to be thinking about oh, I got to sign up for this Cloud Guru thing? No, no, you don't. You want to just hop into the portal you want to make it easy. You got to go for it Again.

Speaker 1: 8:45

That's the difference between people that are quote-on-quote successful and people that are, you know, not as successful or seem kind of lost. Right, I'll give you an example. You know, I have a good friend of mine that I've known since high school and you know he, he's really kind kind of been in the same place Ever since high school. Now he went to college. He went to an art school, you know he. He intended to be a video game developer and you know, honestly, due to poor execution on his part, it never happened. Did he have the skills to do that job? Yeah, absolutely. It's very talented, very talented. Did he have the tools to do it? Yeah, absolutely. He had the computer powerful enough, he had all of the stuff that he needed to be successful and going down that endeavor and it never worked right. He, he was confronted with an opportunity to work for a developer in Ireland, but he would have to move there and you know everything else like that and he's he said that he was too afraid to do it.

Speaker 1: 10:13

You know me, if I was in that situation and I was trying to go down that path. I would have been on a plane to Ireland at the end of that phone call, right, I would have been booking that flight immediately to go to Ireland to Chase my dream. And maybe it's a small indie developer that no one knows, or anything like that. Right, it's a, it's a foothold in the door, it's a, it's a stepping stone and, you know, sometimes it's hard to you know, know what you want, right, and then go after, because it's that going after that people don't really understand and it's taking every opportunity that you possibly can and making the most of it.

Speaker 1: 11:03

You know, recently I started doing a little bit of virtual CISO work. Right, and I've never been a people manager, I want to be but I think I have the skill sets for it, I think I'm able to do it. Actually, I'm pretty confident that I can do it. I just need the right opportunity To be able to, you know, showcase that and actually have that, that title, that role, to be able to do it. And I started working with a friend of mine that I've known for many years, you know, and I'm doing virtual CISO work with him for his company on the side. And when is this gonna take me. Well, I don't know, but I hope it's gonna take me into management. You know, I hope it's going to open up doors for me Down the road to become a manager, to become a director, to eventually become a CISO For a company. You know, I have the skill sets, I have the knowledge, you know. And that's the other thing too, right.

Speaker 1: 12:16

I feel like people put too much leniency On the qualifications and when to get them and how to get them and things like that. Right, you know, there has been several opportunities that I would not have even been considered for If I didn't already have the certifications that I had. You know, I'll, I'll, I'll let you in on a little secret. Several months ago, I was talking to Amazon. The only reason why I was on the call with Amazon Was because of the certifications that I got through Amazon Two or three years ago I mean literally two or three years ago and I'm the only one on the call with this certification. There's Amazon engineers, there's Amazon architects, and they don't have the certification that I have and they're asking me for advice on different things. This is Amazon, you know. This is, you know, big time talking to Amazon, trying to get things done. Um, but that opportunity wouldn't have just been given to me if I never had that certification right.

Speaker 1: 13:38

Even if I knew the right people, they wouldn't have put me in that room, that virtual room, so to speak right, and so you have to think forward. You have to think okay, I want to be a CISO someday. Well, what does that look like? It looks like specializing in a couple different areas. It looks like getting the CISSP. It looks like getting the CISM. Well, why don't you get those things now? Why don't you knock them out now? And guess what?

Speaker 1: 14:09

As you're doing it, time goes by, and as time goes by, you become more and more prepared for the role that you want. You get more and more prepared for your future, your future self, your future opportunity. Right, you know, the world works not really in mysterious ways. I would say that it kind of works as you demand of it. It works in a way to where you're putting a demand on yourself and saying I am worth this, I am worth becoming a CISO. Right, I am able to become a CISO. And once you ingrain that in your head, you start thinking how do I become a CISO? Well, what qualifications do they have?

Speaker 1: 15:02

And going through it and making that progress and, as time goes on, you will eventually be presented with an opportunity to have that role, have that opportunity to become what you want to become, and you'll look back and you'll be like, oh man, that was five, seven, 10 years of hard work, 15 years of hard work, 20 years of hard work. But guess what? What did that 10, 15, 20 years of hard work enable you to do? Not only enabled you to reach your goal of becoming a CISO this is just an example right? Not only it allowed you to reach your goal, but it allowed you to provide for your family in an enhanced way. Right, it allowed you to provide for your community in an enhanced way. You know that's the goal.

Speaker 1: 16:04

You know, like I love being a dad. My favorite thing in the entire world is being a dad. If I could do one thing for the rest of my life, it would be a dad. It wouldn't be a podcast host. It wouldn't be, you know, cybersecurity engineer or CISO or anything like that. Like, I absolutely love every minute of waking up at 2am, 3am, 4am to take care of my little baby. You know, to be there for them. That's opportunity, this career opportunity that I have, that we all have. It should be enabling you to provide a better life for your family, for the ones that you care about, for the ones that you love. That's how I view it, and every day that I don't want to do something that I'm putting it off. It delays those goals. It delays me being able to pay for college. It delays me being able to pay for their retirement. I mean, think about that for a minute.

Speaker 1: 17:16

I came from nothing. I came from nothing. I graduated high school. I had nothing to my name, except for the money that I worked for because I had a job. I had no help getting through college. I had no one to tell me, oh, you should set up a Roth IRA, or oh, you should invest in a 401k when you get a job, or anything like that. And now you fast forward 10, 15 years and I'm thinking about setting up a retirement account for my kid. The stark contrast that my kids will have compared to what I had, compared to where I started from and what I started with and whatnot, will be completely different. And that is how it should be. Every generation should be better. Every generation should be doing bigger and better things, and it's our job as present day adults to enable them to be able to be better, to do bigger and better things. It's our job. At the end of the day, it's our job. I have a nice house and everything, but that nice house is not going to come in between me and paying for my grandkids college, because college costs are astronomical right now and they're only going to go up because the government can't figure out how to subsidize it somehow, and so by the time even my kid is in college, it's going to be an extraordinary amount of money.

Speaker 1: 19:04

I have a friend of mine and his daughter is getting ready to go to college in a year, I believe, and he was telling me all the schools that they're going to visiting is all 50 grand a year, 50 grand with room and board. I mean, that's insane. So how do you, how do you, even prepare for that? Well, you got to do the work now. You got to put in the work now. You have to set those goals now. You have to say to yourself where do I want to be in 20 years? Where's my family going to be in 20 years? What do I want to be doing in 20 years? And start making the adjustments. Now.

Speaker 1: 19:48

You know my brother. My brother is like completely different from me. I have a younger brother Completely different from me. I went to college. He went to trade school. There's nothing wrong with going to trade school, nothing wrong with it. I actually envy him for going to UTI and, you know, learning to be a mechanic and everything like that, because, like now I'm starting to get into cars more and I really enjoy that. You know, like I think it's really cool and whatnot.

Speaker 1: 20:21

But you know he's in the career field and he hates it because it really destroys his body. And I mean, my brother is younger than me and he, he walks around and moves like he's, you know, 10, 15 years older than me. I mean, literally, you know it's crazy. I didn't see him for a while one time and you know I it like shocked me. I was like, hey, man, you need to figure out another career because, like I'm literally 30, I was 32 at the time when I'm, when I'm talking about the situation, I told him like I'm 32. I'm seven years older than you and you're walking around like you're 15 years older than me. Like this is insane, dude, you're not going to make it that long You're not going to make it. You know that far Um.

Speaker 1: 21:16

And you know he's making the change now. You know he's getting ready to go back to school, to get his bachelor's degree, to get into cybersecurity and everything like that, and it was scary for him at first to make a big change like that. But you got to take it a day at a time. You know change is scary for everyone, no matter who they are. The older I get, the more I realize that. You know everyone is really kind of in the same boat, everyone really. You know views change the same way and you're going to feel the same things. People just attribute those feelings to different emotions, right? So I'll give you an example. Change may make you very anxious. You know that feeling of anxiety. Well, you can train your body to be excited when you feel that feeling of anxiety, you know so. For some people they're excited when they go through change. Others are terrified when they go through change. It's all learned behavior. It's all learned response and reaction.

Speaker 1: 22:25

You know I'm not a psychologist or anything like that. I took like maybe one or two psychology classes in college. I thought that it was a blow off. You know major, that it wasn't valuable or anything like that. And you know, lo and behold, of course I have a psychologist now. You know I have a therapist, so you know it is what it is right.

Speaker 1: 22:51

But you know, it's about embracing the change. It's about embracing those emotions and those feelings and really diving into it and making a change for yourself and your family. You know you have to really, you know, catapult yourself into the future and think about where you want to be, what you want to be doing, how you want that life to look, and then make the decisions now based on that, because if you don't, when you get there you're going to be heavily disappointed. Now, you know, with that, guys I don't want to be rambling on or anything like that that's all that I really had and, to be completely honest with you, none of that was scheduled, none of that was thought through or anything like that. So you know that was all kind of off the cuff and you know I'm going to keep on doing videos like this.

Speaker 1: 23:40

I think that is helpful for at least someone out there. I think it's helpful for at least one person, maybe. I hope it is at least. But yeah, guys, you know that's all that I have. Thanks everyone and, of course, if you enjoy this episode, this podcast, please leave a like and subscribe on the platform that you're on. All right, thanks guys.